Family Lawyers & Therapists Work Together on Divorce

family lawyers and therapists

Picture for a moment the following Florida collaborative divorce scenario. We’re inside a Bay Area law office. Two people who have decided to dissolve their marriage due to irreconcilable differences sit across from each other at a table. Each is flanked by family lawyers and therapists. The nervousness is palpable.

The soon to be ex-husband repeatedly sips from an over sized cup of coffee; the nearly ex-wife taps her index finger on the mahogany table in an endless percussion. The therapists and lawyers begin the meeting by stating what their clients hope to achieve, and the mood in the room changes to one of acceptance.

Divorce is not a lovely process by any means, but collaborative divorce proceedings can lessen the painful journey, says St. Petersburg therapist KathyDan Moore, LMFT. You can open a tab to her page by holding the Ctrl key and clicking here. This is not a courtroom; no judge presides with the gavel at the ready. Others are not deciding the fate of these plaintiffs. They entered into this marriage contract on their own terms, and they will now dissolve it. They have the control. This is the main benefit of collaborative divorce.

After all the arguments and impasse, the most painful decision has already been made: this marriage will soon be over. What remains is the aftermath. And these lawyers and therapists are there to help. Meetings with just the lawyers may have already occurred; now, this joint meeting is the kickoff for a timeline of mutual agreeance. What financial and custody agreements must be solidified before this marriage ends? It’s decided here. Inside this room is the beginning of the end. And after all the months of fighting, that realization is comforting.

The therapists remind the couple that thanks to their willingness to undertake Florida collaborative divorce, a judge will not be the one who has the final say in their settlement. These spouses have decided to limit emotional pain by collaborating with professionals trained in such cases – and by doing so, they will limit the financial fallout of the divorce as well. Both nod. They are willing to go through the divorce process without adversarial attitudes.

Even though they understand what they hope to accomplish from the meeting, as the session progresses, negative emotions flare.  One spouse points at the partner’s lack of daily help with child-rearing as a reason for lessened visitation and begins listing all the ways he has fallen short of paternal expectations. He counters with a reminder of his breadwinner status in the relationship and therefore his lack of time.

The therapists manage the situation and remind their clients of the goal at hand. Cooperation is tantamount to the success of Florida collaborative divorce; without it, a more traditional divorce proceeding will be necessary. Both parties share information openly and state what they hope to keep from the union. By speaking clearly and without passion, they are able to come to an agreement.

The therapists had already pre-qualified this couple for the collaborative divorce process, so it’s not surprising that by the end of the hour, there’s a solid plan in place for dissolution. If an agreement had not been reached, new lawyers would have had to be hired and litigation begun.

The session is over. The lawyers leave to draw up a Marriage Settlement Agreement, which the spouses will willingly sign. And that courtroom battle that seemed inevitable months ago during all the disagreements? It never comes close to fruition.

For more information about collaborative divorce and how involving both a therapist and a Florida divorce attorney can save you time, money and heartache during marriage dissolution, visit the website for the Coleman Law Group.

“We want Prenup!” Don’t Wait – Until It’s Too Late!

Conflicted husband and wife during divorce consultation with lawyer

The topic of Florida prenuptial agreements naturally gets tossed around our Tampa law office often – after all, love is always in the air, and as everyone knows, love can make you blind. Kanye and Jamie Foxx have a whole song about the dangers of these rose-colored glasses. Their iconic prenup anthem Gold Digger is basically a family law cautionary tale to the max.

Our legal advice to couples who come to us for marriage preparation is much tamer than Kanye’s take on the matter. We’re not suggesting you’ve got a gold digger situation. Still, here are a few instances that inspire our clients to enter the office and yell, We want prenup! We want prenup! (Ok, there is never any yelling of this. We had to get some lyrics in this post somewhere).

When should you have a Tampa lawyer draw up a Florida prenuptial agreement for you and your intended? 

In short – the earlier it’s planned before your marriage, the better. Consider these instances:

You have read the statistics and are a realist. ‘Happily ever afters’ are possible, of course. Our lawyers happen to believe this wholeheartedly on a personal level. However, the Florida divorce rate is high. By both parties understanding what is at stake if divorce does happen, the details will be laid out for the least painful dissolution of your Florida marriage if you have a prenuptial agreement.

You don’t want any surprises, money-wise. Kanye raps about the ‘you’re not the father’ scenario, where it’s revealed after 18 years that a child is not biologically the offspring of the person who financially supported him. Your reasons for a Florida prenuptial agreement need be much less dramatic. If one or both parties bring children to the union, it is to their benefit that you agree upon ‘what if’ scenarios ahead of time.

Consider this scenario: Junior is about to go away to college when his parents file for a Florida divorce. All of a sudden, that Ivy League education his stepdad promised to fund seems like a sub-par investment. The future graduate is left to scramble for loans to fulfill his educational aspirations because there was no prenuptial agreement signed. Concerned about protecting an inheritance? -Opt for the prenup.

There are other instances where a prenuptial agreement is advisable, of course, and none of them are mentioned in the rap song (though we believe they should be because that would be fabulous and educational). If you and your partner are interested in learning whether a prenuptial agreement is right for your unique situation, contact our compassionate Florida lawyers at the Coleman Law Group who can explain the benefits of the document at www.TheColemanLawGroup.com or (727) 214-0400.

Trust us, you’ll want to work with a caring professional who at no time in the planning process will stop, point his/her finger at one of you, and yell, “Gold Digger!” Most Florida prenups aren’t about people marrying for reasons other than love. Just as with most things in life, it’s just comforting to know what the future will hold if a certain outcome is to occur. Now go tell that to Kanye.